Monday, March 1, 2010


Frankenhooker. The title evokes an instant mystique of bad taste. When first heard you can't help but smile. If you're revolted , turned off, or think the title sounds stupid, then i ask; whats your deal? When did you decide to stop having fun? How did your sense of humour get crushed? Why don't you like boobs? or sexy hooker monsters? Were you molested by a frankenstein?

Anyway, the movie starts with Jeffrey Franken, a part time mad scientist/electrician, toiling away in his kitchen over a brain with an eyeball in it. The movie dares you to take it seriously from the start.

Then Jeffreys pudgy girlfriend Elizabeth gets fragged by Jeffreys new remote control lawnmower (was this the inspiration for the same device in Honey I Shrunk the Kids?.....probably not, no).

Fast forward through some character development (Jeffrey is bummed about his girlfriends condition, and keeps her head in the freezer, thawing it out once in awhile for a romantic dinner) and the film gets to where its heart is really at, the sleazy 42nd street of New York. The actors and actresses really shine in these sequences where Jeffrey Franken is on the prowl for sexy lady parts. Hennenloter always handles his hometown with an eye for the rough and real gritty dirt, but also manages to make it charming (in a scuzzy, don't forget to wash your hands after kind of way). You can feel the sticky heat coming out of the TV while Jeffrey makes a deal with the goofy and intimidating Zorro, Frankenhookers requisite Pimp Daddy.

Jeff buys up all of Zorro's crack, to make his own formula of super crack, and puts together a party with some hookers in a skeezy hotel room. Franken plans to give his favorite bodacious babe the wonderdrug, killing her with a clear conscious, and then attaching his poor dead girlfriends head to the fresh curvacious cadaver.

Of course everything goes horribly wrong, in one of the most hilariously over the top sequences I have had the pleasure to take in. It's a blast! I saw Fireworks! Hookers blowing up!

But Jeffrey prevails and pieces together a corpse from his favorite parts.
sleazy? Frankenhooker? naaahhh....

After all that, poor Jeffrey Franken get's his wish and resurrects his girlfriend, but she's not quite what he was expecting.

Through the movies own goofy logic, the introduction of hooker parts to Elizabeths brain created a hybrid personality type deal thing where her brain is dormant, and the memory of the body parts is channeled through her brain via nerve endings thought patterns that are transformed into her current conscious......whatever. I hate to say it, but the movies called Frankenhooker, don't expect it to make any all.

She looks suspiciously like a lot of girls you see at the goth/punk bar doesn't she?

So Elizabeth, or Frankenhooker, b-lines it past Jeffrey and heads to New York to make some money where the old hooker parts used to make their money. Zorro notices some familiar asses and titties jiggling around the bar and follows Jeffrey and Elizabeth home to exact some pimp slapping revenge. This doesn't go so well for Zorro, and we are treated to some classic Hennenloter what-the-fuck slimy puppet body part creature action!

After that is the real finale, which I won't give away here because it's to good to spoil. Check out Frankenhooker. It's pretty easy to find. I rented it at the lobby dvd shop on Whyte Ave in Edmonton. Grab it there, or at your cities equivalent cult video store!

Also check out everything else Frank Henenlotter has done up till Bad Biology. I can't recomend that one yet, since I haven't seen it yet, and from what I understand it's entirely about fucking/borderline pornographic. So yeah, look for a review of that in the future!

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