Thursday, July 14, 2011

Evil Dead 4, no more.

So this news just came down the pipeline at Dreadcentral.com....

http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/45566/breaking-exclusive-new-evil-dead-film-actually-gearing-production

It seems that there actually is a remake of Evil Dead getting fast tracked by Ghost House pictures (Owned by Sam Raimi).

Some annoying news that is.
First there's just the annoyance at a remake of such a landmark movie. Imagine if citizen kane got remade, film nerds and wannabe film nerds would be up in arms, and the general public wouldn't give a shit and it would make a bajillion dollars.

Evil Dead getting remade potentially has the same effect. Horror nerds and wannabe horror nerds act all butt hurt over it, and the 14 year old twilight and saw crowd flock to the theatre to watch the younger better looking ash stumble through some aborted script viewed through that fucking awful looking blue tinged lens that every horror remake seems to get put through.

Now there is a part of me that wants to be excited for th
is. Its Evil Dead after all, i have a tattoo from the dvd art of evil dead 2, my all time favorite movie.

the witch in the cellar at the bottom



I prefer to take the high road in instances of remakes, giving them the benefit of the doubt and being cautiously optimistic. And in this case I'm sure I'll come around....eventually.

The problem I have with this news has nothing to do with some fanboy sense of duty to protect my sacred cow. No my friends. I'm in mourning.

See, the thing that most people who lose their shit over pointless remakes forget is that every copy of the original film isn't destroyed when it comes out. But in this case, a movie is getting destroyed. That movie is Evil Dead 4.

How in the fuck are Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell ever going to get up the gumption to write direct and star in a new evil dead movie when some fucking re-imagining is getting all this time and money dumped into it? How the fuck is anyone under the age of 25 going to be able to figure out what the fuck is going on at the movie theatre when Evil Dead 4 comes out shortly after Evil Dead comes out, and there's this b-movie star pushing 60 cracking one liners about fighting demons?

Dread Central wrote about the remake like it was some sort of good news, but I just really can't see anything to get excited about. Not yet. Not while I'm still mourning the death of what could have been a magical moment for me and the countless other Evil Dead fans not old enough to get to experience a new Evil Dead movie for the first time on the big screen. It could have been (pardon the word) epic! It would have been Ghostbusters 3 and Bill and Ted 3 epic! Rad part 2 Epic! fucking goonies 2 epic! but alas, it wasn't meant to be.

what a fucking bummer.